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Here is Jen (my cousin)'s obituary, in case anyone is curious.
http://www.currentobituary.com/ShowObit.a
May she rest in peace.
- Where I am now:home (Franklin, MA)
- I'm feeling:
blank
My cousin Jenny died sometime yesterday afternoon. She was suffering from cancer - first from brain cancer, and then it spread to her spine. She's been suffering for a long while now... my family's been waiting for her to pass on for weeks now.
I don't know how I feel. I should feel distraught & be crying, but instead I just feel..... nothing. Numb.
I guess it's just how I handle things. Bury them. Deep. Ignore them. Pretend they're not there.
Between my other cousins fighting sickness (one battling breast cancer, one with a recently-discovered liver disease, one needs a new kidney, one with bad blood), my aunt having health problems (might have to have her thyroid removed or something), having no money, being in debt (well over $1000), ending my serious relationship with my boyfriend, having no car or apartment of my own, not being able to get a medical assistant job, and now my cousin finally passing away..... I'd really like something to go right for me, or at least my family already. How much more can we take?
At least iParty gave me Saturday & Sunday off, so I'll have some time w/ my family. Wake's on Monday, funeral's on Tuesday. I'll post the obituary soon.
((cross-posted to my MySpace))
- Where I am now:home (Franklin, MA)
- I'm feeling:
numb
Last time I checked, this was America.
Students should be able to go to school without worrying if they will be gunned down or blown up on their way to class. They shouldn't have to talk to their family members upset & worrying if they'd ever hear their voice or see them again. Their families shouldn't have to worry about if they'll get a phone call, asking them to identify a body that might be a potential family member.
Whether it was true, or just a cruel joke..... sometimes people in this country truly disgust me.
- Where I am now:Business Writing class, Gibbs College, Boston, MA
- I'm feeling:
worried
Sorry this post is late... usually I'd prefer to do this on New Year's Eve or New Year's Day (right on the cusp of the ending year), but I'm currently experiencing a MUCH needed vacation from school & work, so I've been enjoying... not doing anything, hehe.
Anyway, here's my '2007 Year in Review'.
For anyone who doesn't know what this is, I basically go throughout the year that just ended (in this case, 2007) and note anything significant that happened to me throughout the year. This helps me review the year that went by, remember stuff that I forgot had happened, and try to smile on the year that was.
Here we go!
PS - I'm no longer a blonde... I'm now a brunette. More on that later, teehee!
*^__^*
((cross-posted to my MySpace))
- Where I am now:home (Franklin, MA)
- I'm feeling: blank
Thanks for the memories, 'Hoot-Hoot'... we love you!
Annie Padden
9/99 - 12/7/07
- I'm feeling: blank
Em & Mary came home last Wednesday. Thanksgiving was good - not my whole family, just my parents & three sisters. We laughed, some of us played 'SNL Trivial Pursuit', had a good dinner, and then went to go see 'Enchanted' at the movie theater. I liked it, it was really cute. A little bit cheesy at times, but it IS a Disney movie - it was to be expected. Overall, I really liked it & hope to get it when it comes out on DVD (James Marsden! ::swoons:: ).
Let's see, what else... Em went back to Somerville yesterday (Saturday), and Mary left to go back to BSC today, a short while ago. Work tomorrow @ iParty from 11am - 4pm, and school again on Tuesday. Only one more month until the semester ends! Less than that, actually... woot! I gotta type up a paper (small as it is) for one of my medical classes by Thursday though... poo. But I look forward to going into Boston w/ Mary before Christmas just to hang out & see the Christmas lights - that should be fun.
Welp, that's all I got for now... less than a month until my Christmas break starts, I can't wait! (I'm getting wiped out, heh.)
((cross-posted to my MySpace))
- Where I am now:home (Franklin, MA)
- I'm feeling: blank
^__^
((cross-posted to my MySpace))
- Where I am now:home (Franklin, MA)
- I'm feeling: blank
Until this morning, I'd completely forgotten all about the message board that I'd set up in December to discuss..... anything! Music, movies, anime, costumes, politics (bleh), school, books, and more! (hence, all of the diverse tags on this LJ entry) You could talk about anything you like there! It's kind of a way for me to try & get people to get together in one place to talk about things that are important to them. Yeah, I know - people have LJs or MySpaces or Facebooks for that..... but everyone has their own individual page, and this is one message board - a place for everything and everyone to come all together!
(...Maybe even a good place to promote a certain somewhat-punk recently-formed Bostonian theatre troupe? COUGH COUGH..... ::wiggles her eyebrows at... someone:: )
If any of you guys still don't wanna join up, it's cool... but if anyone is willing, I'd really love to have at least one or two people willingly come on down & post some of their ideas/interests - but no pressure!
(I don't want any guilt/pity posts, lol)
So if anyone's interested, here's a link to my message board:
Click HERE to get there, and I hope I see a couple of you guys soon!
PS - You might have to create a screen name w/ 'Proboards' to be able to post there... but that's kinda standard for most message boards, anyway.
((cross-posted to my Facebook & eventually my MySpace))
- Where I am now:Interpersonal Communications class, Gibbs College, Boston,MA
- I'm feeling:
geeky
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW,
ANIME BOSTON STARTS TOMORROW.......
::continues this for a good ten minutes, then hyperventillates::
.....OmG, I'm sorry, but I'M JUST *SO* EXCITED!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!
::does a crazy, hyper dance::
...To change the subject for a quick sec, I had some time between my 1st & 2nd class, so I went to visit Em. I didn't get to stay too too long, but it was nice to see her.
On the way back to school I stopped at Harvard Sq. to check 'Tokyo Kid' (the only anime store I know of) for (fake, of course) ninja weaponry - but they didn't have any. Waaah. BUT, I did settle for a little chocolate Pocky. Yay!
Ok, back to the hyperness:
ANIME BOSTON OmG WtH CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO excited!!!!!
(Sorry, this is all the sanity I have to type with right now. I know I'm pretty much incoherent, LOL.)
..........PS - Hooray, I also turned 23 years old today! But I'm more excited about Anime Boston, LOL.
- Where I am now:Pharmacology class break, Gibbs College, Boston, MA
- I'm feeling:
super hyper
Em, Mary, & I all went outside a little while ago to do our 'Coke & Mentos' experiment.
.......It was kind of disappointing, LOL.
We put one mentos in the bottle, and it fizzed up out of the bottle about 6 inches high for about 7 or so seconds. ...That was pretty much it. Then Mary & Em destroyed the Coke bottle by means of stomping, throwing, bouncing, and hurling it against a rock. Only stomping on it worked.
I tried to get a video clip of it to put on YouTube/Live Video, but for some reason only the sound came out, not the picture. Urgh..... ah well.
I guess the next time we try it (oh don't worry, there will be a next time!), we'll just have to unload a whole roll of mentos in the bottle for optimal 'fountainage', LOL.
(It's been a nice Easter. ^^ Pics to come later!)
- Where I am now:Home, 82 Daniels St., Franklin, MA
- I'm feeling:
Easter candy!!!
Oh - and on Easter this Sunday, Mary & I planned to videotape a little experiment....... involving a bottle of Coca-Cola and a few rolls of Mentos.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS - It turns out that Claire's isn't hiring until May - they may give me a call, but I dunno. And I filled out an application at Hot Topic, but I probably won't hear from them. ::sighs, defeated::
- Where I am now:the family den, 82 Daniels St., Franklin, MA 02038
- I'm feeling: blank
I was in my mom's car this morning & we were on our way to the train station, when all of a sudden I felt nauseated. When we got to the train station, I felt a little bit better - but I grabbed a plastic bag, just in case. Well... no sooner had I grabbed the bag when - I 'lost my lunch', so to speak. Blegh.
I haven't thrown up in years, so I forgot what it was like - oh my God, I just wanted to die. I couldn't catch my breath, and my stomach kept convulsing... it was awful, & even a little scary. Sorry to be gross, but that's how I felt, heh.
Needless to say, I didn't end up going to school. Which I guess is okay, because it gave me some time to do some final-studying. (Yay.) BUT, at least I'm almost done with this semester, and then I get 2 weeks off! YAY!
- I'm feeling:
sick
And... I am *so* sick of 'competing' & working my @$$ for EVERYTHING in my life. I'm running out of strength, and - I'm sad to say - I'm afraid that I'm running out of faith, too.
(WARNING: Huge rant ahead)
1) SCHOOL = My dad is gonna have to pay about $30,000 overall for me to go to Gibbs. That's as much as a regular college costs (WITH dorm costs included - and Gibbs doesn't even have dorms), and the d@mn school only has you there for 18 months (as opposed to 4 years for a regular college). Where the hell do they get off charging someone that much to attend? Don't give me this crap about Gibbs being a trade/job skill school... don't tell me that there's no greed involved there. Selfish creeps.
About 85% of the people in that school don't know their @$$ from their elbow. Sorry to offend anyone, but it's true. And come to think of it, half of the teachers there are idiots too. ( ::coughs:: A&P teacher ::coughsneeze:: ) I understand that Boston is gonna have ghetto people in it, but this is ridiculous. And most of the students act like ghetto @$$hole$ too, so much that I don't even like being there most of the time (some of them don't even speak English well. For God's sake, gimme a break). It's bad enough that I felt like a complete freak in middle school & high school... I CERTAINLY didn't go to college again to feel that way.
I don't even care how I do on my finals this week. I really don't. I just want to be out of there (for 2 weeks) already.
Plus the school semesters continue into the summer - I won't get my summers off. And I know this means that I'll graduate sooner, but it's completely screwing up my summer plans. It's gonna be tough enough going to Anime Boston in April... but it's gonna be really hard (though I'm determined to do it) to find a way to squeeze Otakon in there. And the weeked before Otakon, I was supposed to go to my aunt's beach house in Mattapoisett for a few days - my relatives from NY (who I never see) will be there.
.....Maybe I'll take the July-September semester off. It would mean graduating 3 months later that I was originally supposed to (March '08), but... the more I think about it, the more I think I like the idea.
And one more thing - why the hell should I have to take English 1 (GRAMMAR), when I already know all this stuff? I know that like, tons of students going to Gibbs are crappy at English (or can't even SPEAK it), but that doesn't mean that should have to take the stupid class. It's a waste of my time, and about $1,500 of my dad's money. And yes, I could try & test out of the class - but then I would not only have to pay for the test-out test ($100), but I'd also have to pay for the class anyway! WtH?!
...If I knew things were going to be like this, I never would have gone to Gibbs in the first place.
2) WORK (PANERA BREAD) = Please pardon my language, but I freaking HATE this g*d-d@mn place. Hate it with a passion. I have given them almost a year & a half of my life, and no matter what I do, these two managers never stop treating me like complete sh*t.
Last Saturday I went to put a folded cardboard box in the back with the trash, and one of my coworkers asked me to get some containers of cream cheese while I was back there. So I got back & was putting them in the fridge, when 'b*tchy manager #1' gets like, only a few inches away from my face & says in a really pissed off voice (all the while talking to me like I'm completely retarded), "I need you to stay in the bakery & not leave." I almost rolled my eyes & said firmly, "I know that... the only reason why I left is because *** asked me to. She asked me to get some stuff for her." Of course she interrupted me & said, "She's doing phone-ins, and there's no one else in the bakery. You need to stay here & not leave in case a customer comes in." Then she whirled around & hurried away before I could say anything else.
And then later that day, 'b*tchy manager #2' asked me if I had told Jeff (general manager) why I hadn't gone to the Bread Bash.
((FYI - the 'Bread Bash' is this stupid thing a few Sunday nights a year in which they go over new products coming to Panera Bread, & other things they need to remind us about. You are required to go, unless you talk to the general manger beforehand to explain why you won't be going.))
So anyway, I had forgotten to attend that Sunday b/c I was wiped out (with all of the crap that's been happening to my family & I in the last couple months, let alone the last few YEARS). But, I couldn't tell 'BM2' that (b/c she really wouldn't give a sh*t), so I told a white lie. I started to say, "No, I completely forgot about it, because I was up all night studying for school." But of course she didn't even let me finish the damn sentence, and promptly told me that I would be getting yet another warning (my 2nd one... the 1st one was for 'not serving the customers enough'. Complete bullsh*t).
One final part - I went into Payless Shoes w/ my mom today, & I saw a 'Now Hiring' sign in their window. WtH?! I applied there a couple months ago, & they never called me back. When I called them, they told me they weren't hiring! And the sign was in their window then, too!!
URGH!!!!!
3) PERSONAL LIFE = I start this part off by saying, "...What personal life?"
But anyway, my laptop has been crapping out on me... AGAIN. There will be times when it'll just freeze up, & not do anything for several minutes. And I know it's not b/c I need to free up some space, because I check that often & there's a ton of free space on it.
Also, I'll have the AC cord plugged in - but my laptop doesn't always recognize that it's plugged into a wall socket, & it'll start running on battery power. This continues until I jiggle the cord around for several minutes, & maybe get lucky if it recognizes that it's plugged in again. URGH. I'm tempted to throw this damn thing out a window already. And I've only had it for... not even a year yet!!!
Thank God I bought a 2 year extended warranty plan at WalMart when I bought it. I'll probably take it in during my semester break. I'm sure it'll cost me an arm & a leg to get some stuff fixed, but... we'll see.
There was a lot of other stuff that was bothering me earlier (my poor momma got an earful - I mean I really yelled, & even started crying a little), but I cooled down some after eating dinner, and now the fight just isn't in me.
I'm just too tired.
I'm tired of feeling like I'm a freak all the time. I'm tired of stupid, ghetto students who do nothing but goof off in class & mooch money from the state (financial aid), while my dad is struggling to see me through college to get a degree. I'm sick of people who treat me like sh*t because they think they're soooo much better than me. I'm sick of people hating me, when I haven't even done anything wrong to them. I'm sick of my family facing hardships, & never getting a single break.
I just... want to crawl into a dark hole, and not come out.
((cross-posted))
- I'm feeling:
depressed
::does a happy dance::
In more annoying news, my dad acted like a grumpy jerk all day. I know that losing his office was hard on him... but if this is what he's gonna be like all the time, things will get old here, VERY fast.
The worst part was when my parents, Mary, & I all got home from Mary's FHS chorus concert tonight... and nobody had their house key with them. Amy was away at karate class, and she had mom's house key with her. I have a house key, but it was in my other sweater that I was wearing earlier today (I changed sweater's for Mary's concert). Naturally, my dad got mad & blamed Mary & I - which I think is extremely stupid, since he's not only 'the parent', but he was also the driver. If anyone should have had a house key, it should have been him (ESPECIALLY since this happened to us once before - my dad didn't have his house key then, either).
I was being kind of a smart@$$, because he glared at me & said, "Katie, where is your house key?" I immediately replied, "It's in the house. Where's YOURS??"
.....I'm surprised he didn't come across the porch & punch my lights out. BUT, nevertheless, I don't regret what I said, & at least it made Mary snicker (after she gasped in shock).
Thank God Amy soon came home, & we got in the house... but I don't know if I'll be able to stand this for much longer. He'd better learn to deal with stuff & stop getting everyone mad, or he's going to be alone very soon.
((cross-posted to my MySpace))
- I'm feeling:
tired
Normally, I address a letter by saying 'dear' instead of 'to'... but you are far from dear to my heart.
I wish you could know just what you have done to my family.
Ever since you have cruelly, callously, and selfishly decided to eject my father from his self-employed law office (after 30+ years of loyal service to the bank and all of Franklin, may I add), all of our lives have taken a turn for the worse. Normally, my family is almost always in a good mood - but now, we're almost constantly at each other's throats. We always try to be happy, no matter what the situation - but lately we're almost always quiet, sad, stressed, depressed, and very worried about what the future may bring (whether we admit it to each other or not).
In the last five years, this is what the members of my family have had to deal with:
-the death of my grandfather (mother's father)
-the death of my grandmother (mother's mother)
-the financial debt of my grandparents
-the sudden & unexpected death of my uncle (mother's brother-in-law)
-a deep depression of several members of my family (and not just intermediate family, either)
-and now, my father being forced to retire after 30+ years, because he has nowhere else to go - because of YOUR selfishness.
As an extra slap in the face (as if what you had done wasn't bad enough), you wouldn't even wait for my father to be out of HIS office before you started to remodel it for the next client! Would it have killed you to wait for him to leave it first? And worst yet - originally, you were only going to give him eight days to clean out 30 years of his life. EIGHT DAYS.
Shame on you. I don't like to 'name call'... but I really do believe, deep in my heart, that you are a horrible excuse for a human being.
Today is officially the last day that my father will ever be in HIS office, before his business is no more. I hope you know that this is really killing him. He hasn't even taken down the sign outside the office with his name on it - I don't think he has the heart to.
I wish you could see our garage, filled with his filing cabinets & documents. I wish you could see our basement... filled with bookcase after bookcase, stuffed with his hundreds of Massachusetts law books.
This is truly a very sad day for the Padden family. And it's your fault.
I don't know how you can live with yourself - hurting people's lives like this - but I hope you know that what goes around, comes around..... and I almost feel bad with what will be coming to you someday (almost, but not quite).
- Katie M. Padden
(daughter of Edward M. Padden - the 'attorney at law' whose business you ruined, & family life you disrupted)
(daughter of Edward M. Padden - the 'attorney at law' whose business you ruined, & family life you disrupted)
PS - The ONLY reason why I won't actually be sending you this letter is because my mother has begged me not to. Unlike you, she has a wonderful heart.
- Where I am now:History classroom, Gibbs College, Boston, MA
- I'm feeling:
exhausted (in every way possible)
That turned out normal, but her blood pressure was high & she was having chest/shoulder/arm pains in her left side, so the nurse gave her some nitroglycerin. That helped her, & then around 12am she went for a chest x-ray. We waited around for another hour, then found out that she'd be staying the night for observation. So we waited for them to give my mom a room - and waited... and waited... and waited... and waited...
Meanwhile, my mom & I were getting really tired, so I curled up beside her on the hospital bed, put my head on her stomach, & we both tried to get a little rest. Neither one of us got much rest, but at least it was nice being together. *^.^*
Finally... around 3:30am..... they finally gave my mom a room. I hung out with her for a little while longer, and then left around 5:30am to go home & get a little sleep while Amy drove Mary to school. My dad came home from work & drove me back to the hospital around 10am. So I hung out with her there until they let her go home around 5pm ish.
...In those 24 hours, I got about 3 or so hours of sleep. (Luckily, I've gotten more since then)
But thank God, she didn't have a heart attack, and her heart is okay - it turns out her thyroid is kinda screwed up (she has hypothyroidism anyway), so she's gonna see an endocrinologist (they deal with glands & stuff), and I guess they'll sort things out.
::takes a deep breath::
NOW - on a lighter note - Mary & I felt nostalgic & decided to watch 'Cinderella' tonight. Here's some funny quotes we had while watching the movie.
( Interesting quotes said while watching 'Cinderella' )
- Where I am now:our den @ home, Franklin, MA
- I'm feeling: tired
- I'm listening to:'Beauty & the Beast' with Mary
So just for fun, Mary brought a huge thing of old photos downstairs tonight, & we (me, Mary, & Momma) had some fun going through them. ...Except that I found a few 'doozy photos' of me that I forgot existed, lol. So just for 'yucks', I'll share a couple.
Here's one of the photos taken for my First Communion (a Catholic sacrament/celebration). I think I was in the first grade. The funny thing is..... I kinda look like Gollum from 'Lord of the Rings' in this photo, LOL!
 |
...Needless to say..... this is not the photo that got framed on our family photo wall, lol.
Here's something that I found interesting: a photo of me from ten years ago..... looks almost the same as me now.
1997... Feb. 2007
...I don't know how I should feel about this, lol.
If it weren't for the fact that I'm wearing more makeup in the 2nd photo (& have no bangs).....
::shudders::
...More old photos to come later!
- Where I am now:family den @ home, Franklin, MA
- I'm feeling:
nostalgic - I'm listening to:'The Running Man' on DVD ('Ahnuld' rules!)
...I don't really know what I feel right now. I mean, sad, yeah... but I dunno. .....My poor dad. It's so unfair. I don't really know what he, or even the rest of us (my family) is going to do. I don't know what's going to happen to us. It's a really scary thing - to not know what the future will hold, or if things will even be okay, let alone good.
I'm really not trying to sound selfish - like I'm thinking only of myself, instead of my dad (b/c this is hardest on him, even though he's not showing it too much), because I'm really thinking of my whole family right now.
...Are we gonna be poor? Will we be able to afford health insurance? Or even food? Is my dad gonna have to retire? (I don't think any other law firms will take him) Will my dad finally agree to sell our house & move elsewhere? Will I have to give up school? Will Mary? (Because I would give up Gibbs *SO* fast, if it meant that Mary could go to college) What's going to happen to all of us? What???
.....I'm really scared right now.
...I wish my friends were here with me.
(cross-posted)
- Where I am now:our den @ home, Franklin, MA
- I'm feeling: worried
- I'm listening to:the rain falling
.....So when she asked me to cut her hair too a little while ago, I almost threw up. I mean with her, I know she was going to do a great job cutting my hair. My hands... not so steady. And if I ever did anything to screw up my mom's hair, I would NEVER forgive myself. But, she said she trusted me (good God...), so I sucked in my chest & was determined to do my best.
It ended up being a tiny bit shorter than shoulder length - shorter than I originally intended it to be. But, it didn't turn out too bad, & she liked it.
I hope she never asks me to do it again, LOL.
:: is ready to throw up ::
- I'm feeling:
relieved - I'm listening to:'Jurassic Park 3' on DVD with Mary
http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a351/E
(a picture of the ad)
...That stupid bank. They're such creeps. What kind of freaking cowards are they - chasing an older man out of his office (while he has a family - including 2 daughters going to college - to support), just because they want the space for their own selfish purposes.
::sighs::
Just when I think society can't get any worse, people continue to disappoint me.
:(
- Where I am now:at home - 82 Daniels St, Franklin
- I'm feeling:
thirsty - I'm listening to:'Jurassic Park 2' DVD w/ Mary & Mom
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