My cousin Jenny died sometime yesterday afternoon. She was suffering from cancer - first from brain cancer, and then it spread to her spine. She's been suffering for a long while now... my family's been waiting for her to pass on for weeks now.

I don't know how I feel. I should feel distraught & be crying, but instead I just feel..... nothing. Numb.
I guess it's just how I handle things. Bury them. Deep. Ignore them. Pretend they're not there.

Between my other cousins fighting sickness (one battling breast cancer, one with a recently-discovered liver disease, one needs a new kidney, one with bad blood), my aunt having health problems (might have to have her thyroid removed or something), having no money, being in debt (well over $1000), ending my serious relationship with my boyfriend, having no car or apartment of my own, not being able to get a medical assistant job, and now my cousin finally passing away..... I'd really like something to go right for me, or at least my family already. How much more can we take?

At least iParty gave me Saturday & Sunday off, so I'll have some time w/ my family. Wake's on Monday, funeral's on Tuesday. I'll post the obituary soon.

((cross-posted to my MySpace))